The Manaless Zero Part 1

The ropes wrap tight around my wrists. I pull on one, hoping to break myself free. It doesn’t show a hope of breaking.
“I wouldn’t struggle too much there, April,” says Yorq. He moves closer to me so I can get a good look at his dark skin with its rippling muscles. “You’ve been a good girl so far, so we haven’t had to make you do anything beyond sitting here. But if you try and break free, I have no qualms with tearing your clothes off and getting a bit of free pleasure.”
I bite on the piece of cloth between my lips. How can these dark elves be so merciless? I know just as well as they do that I’m never going to manage to escape this situation. I don’t have the strength to break out of these binds anymore, and even if I did, my water magic will never get me past the sentries they’ve posted. Silently, I curse water magic’s short range. Then again, with this ruby they put around my neck, it’s not like I’ve had much of a chance to use magic since they captured me.
I sit there for hours as Yorq keeps watch. “Well, April, I’ll see you first thing in the morning,” he says when it grows dark. “You be a good little girl for me tonight if you want to keep your purity.”
I bow my head, giving him the best answer I can. I guess the leader of this clan of dark elves won’t be giving me a visit tonight. It’s probably for the best. I’ll never give her the answers she wants. Even if she threatens to let Yorq do what he will with my body, it’s better than the alternative. My secret will remain so even if they need to kill me.
I close my eyes, thinking back to the days that led to this…
---
The cheers come from the local field where some male younglings play with a ball, trying to kick it into a net. I should join them, but I never really felt like I belonged with them. Even if I am a guy, such wastes of time are never my things.
“Oh, Peter, playing with your butterflies again?” asks my mom as she walks in.
I fold my arms like any ten-year old elf would do to their moms. “It’s not playing. I’m creating something wonderful.”
My mom laughs. “Oh, that thing about the manaless?”
I nod. “Mana is like a fire. It burns inside you, and grows with every passing moment. But the manaless don’t have the fire. There has to be a way to set that spark inside them. There has to be a way to transfer a little bit of yourself into them, so they can become whole again.”
My mom rubs my head. “It’s nice that you think that way, Peter, but don’t waste your time. It’s nice that you’re trying to do some good, but you’re only ten. There are forest elves hundreds of years old than you who’ve tried and failed.”
I puff out my cheeks. “That’s because they don’t have my creativity.”
She laughs. “Don’t stay up too late. You dinner’s on the table.”
When she closes the door, I get back to my work. She knows nothing about what I’m doing. She knows nothing about how much progress I’ve made.
I close my eyes and touch the butterfly’s wings. I begin to chant the spell I made up a few months prior, which somehow seems to be the only one that works. My body feels warm, and the warmth condenses and slides to my finger.
I open my eyes, and the butterfly flitters around, water erupting from its wings. It dives to the water basin to drink from the water it had just created. As it drinks, it creates more water, and drinks faster.
“OK, that’s enough,” I say, taking my mana back. I pour some water into the basin for it to sip on and sit back in my chair as it replenishes itself. Water created by magic can never be used to refresh one’s body. Had I not stopped it, that butterfly would have sipped and created water magically until it dried out to cinders.
This is as far as I’ve gotten. I want to try it with something large, like a mouse or a rabbit, but my mom would never allow me to have something like that in the house. That leaves me with only one option – trying it on an actual human.
The next morning, I head to school. “Hey April,” I say as I walk up next to her.
She turns around and smiles at me. Her red locks really do a good job framing her face. As always, she keeps one side of her face covered with longer bangs, so I can only see one of her eyes. But even with only one eye, I, as well as everyone else in the village knows who she is. A manaless.
“We’re going to learn how to cook fried mutton today!” she says with a smile wide across her face. “I know how much you love it.”
“Ah, nice,” I say, trying to keep myself looking interested. As with all manaless, she spent no time in our normal classes. Instead she learns practical skills like cooking and cleaning, as well as some non-magical ones such as acting and dancing. “Tell me, April, would you like to join me in my class?”
She bows her head. “You know I can’t. I’m a manaless. I can’t even make much more than a spark.”
“What if I said there was a way you could?”
She cocks her head. “What? What do you mean?”
I smile. “Come with me.”
We leave the pathway along the trees, and head into a coffee shop. I lead her upstairs, where it’s more quiet.
She looks around uncomfortably. “This is going to make us late,” she says. “Are you sure about this?”
I smile. “They’ll be so happy when they learn you can do magic, they won’t care.”
“How am I…”
I rub her head. “I’ll give you a little bit of mine, and that’ll be enough to start you up. I’ve done it with butterflies before.”
Her eyes went wide. “Really? When?”
“Last night,” I say. “So I know it works.”
She stands up. “So I can really learn lightning magic and become the girl my mom always wanted me to be? I won’t make her cry anymore?”
I nod.
“Please!” she says. “Help me!”
I walk over to her. “Close your eyes, and I’ll let the mana flow.”
She nods, and I place my thumb on her forehead. I begin to mumble the incantation.
“Peter, that tickles,” she giggles.
“amona gloria anningo…” I mumble.
“And that sounds funny. What’re you saying?”
I can’t break my concentration. “harraly arani poopi…”
April bursts out laughing. “Poopi? You said poopi!”
“Quiet!” I yell. Oh, crap. Well, messing up the spell just means I have to start over again, right? I take my finger off her forehead and…
Wait, my finger’s not on her forehead. It’s on my lap, on which I’m wearing a red checkered skirt. My eyes widen as I lift my head up to see my body staring back at me.
“April?” I ask.
But the body gives no response. Instead, it falls to the ground, completely lifeless
“What the…” No, this can’t be happening… Why did I go into her body? I only changed the last word and…
“Peter?” I hear her ask.
I bolt my head around. “Where are you?” I ask. “April, what happened?”
She’s very soft, and I have to strain my ears to hear. “I… I’m still here…” she says. “But… you’re here too. It feels like I have a million kilos on top of me. I… I can’t hold on much…”
“April! Don’t! Hold on, I’ll get someone to reverse this and…”
“Peter…” she says, so soft I can barely hear her. “I… love…”
And that is the last I hear of her.
This can’t be happening… I was just transferring mana to her, not my soul! And why did she die? Even if we are in the same body, we can co-exist until I can figure out a way to get my body back.
I bend down over my body to try and reverse the process. April might still be in here, right? If I can get back into my body, she can take over again and we’ll laugh about it…
I hold out my finger, ready to start again. But, when I start, I remember the worst part of it all.
“She is a manaless,” I say. I collapse to my knees and cry bitter tears. I don’t know how long I stay there, but it doesn’t matter. Everything, and anything, is gone. I thought too much about myself. Hubris, my mom liked to call it. And now, I’ve lost all I’ve ever known because of it.
When I finally come to my senses, I realize the gravity of my situation. I’m lucky that nobody came up here. If they did, they’d see me and a dead boy. It’s suspicious no matter how you look at it. Worse yet is it’s true. I’m a murderer. I killed April.
I can’t live here anymore. I have to leave.
I reach into my old bag and pull out my magic textbook. I don’t know if I’ll ever use it, but if I’m going to be alone out there, it’s the closest reminder to my past that I have.
I stuff it into my bag and head down the elevator. Thankfully, nobody asks me where I’m heading. It would be convenient to lie to them and say I’m on a school assignment, but it’s not like a forest elf has the capability of lying.
When I get out of sight of the trees, I run. And as I run, everything blurs together. My tears, my fears, my exhaustion… none of it matters. All that matters is that I’m putting one foot in front of the other, getting more and more distance away from that village.
I don’t know how many hours, or maybe even days I run. But when I stop, I collapse next to a lake. It isn’t exhaustion that stops me, but thirst. I crawl up to the lake and take a deep draught. When I stare at my face, I’m hit with a second shock of what has happened. This isn’t me… This is April, with her red hair, her little heart shaped birth mark, and her empty eyes… that don’t look empty anymore.
That doesn’t make sense. I lean closer, and sure enough, I see the light of creation bouncing around. How is that possible? She was a manaless. She shouldn’t have been able to have that… Unless…
I hold my hand out, and try a simple spell to make it rain. As if in perfect response, a small cloud appears and water falls out.
I can’t believe it. I could have tried to transfer my soul back into my body and saved April’s. It can’t be too late to try now. I’ll just have to get back to my village and do it before my body gets buried.
But… which way is my village?
In the end, I couldn’t find my village. I didn’t even try, knowing full well that I might not even be able to get near my body once I got into town. I am trapped in a girl’s body, with no way out.
I bury my head in my knees again and cry.
I wake up the next day by the lake. The tears stain my face, and my entire body aches from my marathon the day before.
“Well, no use moping,” I say, picking myself up. “April wouldn’t want that. I have to survive.” I dunk my head in the water and throw back my hair, revealing my covered eye for the first time. “It’s time to live.” I grab my book out of my back and start to practice the water magic I’d never learn in school again.
---
The wind races past my ears as I run down the dark forest path. My target knows that I’m coming for her, and tries to run even faster. But she’ll never be able to outrun me, as I have the wind at my back, and she has it against hers. I thank my recent ventures into wind magic and its theory, and jump at her.
She tumbles on the ground, rolling next to a tree. I pick myself up and creep towards her. She backs up, eyes shaking, as I approach.
“H-Help!” she screams. “Somebody! Anybody!”
“I’m the only person around for kilometers,” I say. “But you have no reason to fear me. What were you doing in the woods alone?”
She gulps. “I… I was banished,” she says.
I kneel down next to her and stare into her empty eyes. “I know,” I answer to her. “And why were you banished?”
She closes her eyes. “Because I’m one of the manaless. I can’t use mana to make magic or…” she sobs, and the tears run down her face.
Poor girl. She can’t be much older than I was when I ran from that village some fifteen years ago. “I can’t say you’ll ever be able to return to that village. I’ve never known of a manaless who has and survived past the guards.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to return. If they treated me like that, then they’re no better than dogs with fleas. I’m an elf! I’m not some monster.” She shivers, and looks up at me. “Are you going to kill me?”
“Depends,” I say. “If you take my help, no. If you don’t, then you’ll probably die within five days in these woods. Which would you choose?”
She gulps. “I’ll… I’ll take your help.”
I nod. “Good girl,” I say as I place my thumb on her forehead. Just like with April, she begins to giggle uncontrollably.
“That tickles!” she laughs.
But after years of meditation, I’m not about to lose my concentration. I’ve practiced too hard. I continue to say the incantation without pause. My thumb becomes warm, and then, to let me know of the completion of the progress, it is pushed off of her head.
She blinks. “What… what was that?”
I rub her head. “What’s your favorite kind of magic?”
The girl gets up and wanders. “I’ve always liked lightning magic. The ability to conjure up a storm at will would be so cool!”
Lightning magic… My book didn’t cover that, but it’s not like it’s the only book in the world. “Try casting a small bolt at that tree over there,” I tell her.
She closes her eyes. “I told you, I can’t. I’m a manaless.”
“Do it, or I really will kill you,” I say. I’m really threading the laws of the gods with that last statement, as I’d only be able to excuse it as a mercy killing if I thought she wouldn’t survive.
She gulps and points at the tree. Her eyes go wide, and she grits her teeth.
As I’ve seen countless times before, her face turns to complete jubilation as the small bolt flies onto the tree. “I… I did that?” she asks.
I nod. “Mana is a seed. Once planted, it’ll grow. You’re no longer one of the manaless, and can develop and hone your skills as you please.” I swipe my back off my face and wink as I show her my heart-shaped birthmark.
“A-April?!” asks the girl. “I thought you were nothing more than a legend. The girl with the heart-shaped birthmark who wanders the forest giving the manaless exiles a chance at a new life…”
I nod. “If you head this way,” I say, pointing south, “you’ll get to the edge of the woods and into a human establishment. They know me, and they’ll get you ingratiated into any society you wish – be it a mercenary’s guild, life as a commoner in a kingdom, or joining the elven refuge for the banished manaless.”
“How… how can I thank you?” she asks.
I shrug. “By doing as I said and not asking any more questions.”
She nods. “I-I won’t! Thank you so much, Miss April!” She gives me a small kiss on the cheek and rushes through the trees heading south. Before I turn north, I summon a wind hawk to follow her and make sure she gets where she needs.
The lake glitters as I approach it. “Fifteen years and I still haven’t moved away from here,” I say. I pull off my clothes and lay them in a pile. With a snap of my finger, they catch fire, erasing any traces of where I might be. I walk into the water and let it seep into my pores, erasing the day’s worth of grime and dirt.
When I stare into the water, I see the same red hair and yellow eyes that I have seen every day since I came here. And as always, I close my eyes and put my hands together. “Please keep April’s soul in peace,” I pray to the gods before diving under.
It seems as weird as ever to pray such a thing, since by now, it is essentially praying for myself to stay at peace. But the gods knew who I meant, so I had no qualms praying it.
The first week by the lake had been hell. I was in an unfamiliar location in an unfamiliar body. What time I hadn’t spent crying and longing was spent trying to adjust to my new center of gravity, or attempting to find food to survive. It had been almost four days before I managed to catch my first fish. I had to eat it raw because water magic cannot cook a fish, but it tasted as delicious as ever.
By the time a month passed, I understood that there was no going back. I had to make good of my situation however I could. I spent all day reading and learning about fire magic. I abandoned water magic out of necessity. Only by fire can food get cooked, and it was one of the easier magics to kill wild animals with. Not only that, but I started to debate my identity. Am I Peter? Am I April? Who do I like, what do I like, and how do I like it?
By the time a year came, I had my answer.
I pop out of the water and gaze at my image. “I am April,” I affirm to myself. I’ll never be the April I killed, that’s for sure. But I sure as hell am not Peter anymore. I’ve lived more than half my life in this body, and even gone through its maturation process ten years ago (a process I never wish to repeat), so there’s no other way to identify me other than April.
“Of course you are,” says a voice nearby. “Now are you going to keep bathing, or are you going to start the cooking fire?”
I spin around, and on the beach stands an elf with green hair, shouting out to me. I sigh. “Coming, Caitlin,” I say. She really needs to learn how to relax once in her life. Sometimes I think she feels like she’s constantly bound up and will get killed unless I save her.
I swim over to the beach and close my eyes. The ground rumbles, and from it, plants bloom. In seconds, they burst open with mature cotton. The cotton flies off and weaves itself together, creating string, and from the string, fabric, and from the fabric, a bright red sundress to match my hair. I set the plants on fire and summon a wind to blow its heat towards me and dry my body a bit before I slip into it.
Caitlin laughs. “You’ve always been so great at all the elements. I wish I was that talented.”
“There’s a difference between being good at all the elements and great at one,” I tell her. “I only know what’s in my book and what I’ve discovered on my own.”
We walk to the platform I had built in the tree soon after I came here using my new magic skills. I had tried to sleep on the ground for a few nights, but for a forest elf, nothing compares to sleeping well elevated off the ground. The boar Caitlin had hunted lies, nearby, freshly filleted and ready to grill. As always, she keeps most of its body to the side. I cast a bit of ice magic at it, and it encapsulates the body to prevent it from spoil.
Caitlin shakes her head. “I’d still love to learn all these skills from you.”
I sigh. “Listen, Caitlin, you’re a unique case. I usually don’t teach anyone how to use magic, outside of the manaless. But seeing how you’ve been banished like them, but for different reasons, I thought I’d take you in for a bit and teach you some basics about your preference in wind magic. But, there’s one lesson I want you to understand above all else. Magic is a powerful tool, and if used the wrong way, it can lead to disaster. Just like it did for me...”
“You had a disaster?” asks Caitlin.
I brush her away. “Don’t worry about trivial matters. Listen, Caitlin, today will be our last day together. You will head south, seek out passage to DragonHeart, and continue your training there. There’s nothing more I could teach you.”
Caitlin’s mouth gaped. “But, what about the ability to manipulate more than just the winds? Can’t we manipulate storms and clouds and...”
I reach into my bag and pull out my only possession. “I know only what is in this book,” I tell her. “Most elves learn one part of it, and advance to a mastery level with their second book. I’ve had far too much time alone here, so I’ve mastered all of it. But, remember Caitlin, the master of all crafts is the master of none. You have a talent in wind magic, so you need to go learn more about it. Don’t waste time with me learning about stuff you’ll never use.”
“But...” she starts.
My ears prick up at the sound a cracking stick. “Somebody’s here,” I say.
Caitlin gulps. “But, nobody ever visits here... Do you think the humans found us or...”
“They wouldn’t try to sneak up on us,” I say. “Hide!”
Caitlin follows my orders and jumps into a hole in the tree. She moves over to make room for me, but I have no intention of jumping in with her. I flick my wrist, and the water in the tree condenses, creating a solid sheet of ice over the entrance to the hole.
“Sorry Caitlin,” I say as I put my hand on the sheet. “I know this enemy, and I don’t want you to get involved.”
Caitlin bangs on the ice, but I know she isn’t about to break free. It’ll be at least six hours before the delayed fire magic I put in it takes its place.
I jump down off the platform, holding my book under my arm. The enemy takes no hesitation to step into my view. He’s a bit bulky for a scout, but I know I’ve only got a few minutes to take care of this dark elf before the rest of the company arrives.
“Gods, forgive me,” I say, summoning balls of fire around my body. The dark elf charges, but he’s rather dim witted if he thinks that can work. I unleash the fireballs, which pulverize him instantly. He dissolves into dust, and I fall to my knees. All part of the plan.
The dark elves rush into the clearing by the hundreds.
“Where’s Toren?” demands one of them, turning her head back and forth. “He was supposed to be back hours ago!”
I have to be careful. I can’t lie, so I need to craft my words carefully.
“Right here,” I say. Indeed, Toren is right here, dead.
She stares down at me. “What did you say, forest elf?”
“I’m Toren,” I say, immediately deciding to use Toren as a nickname. “I took over this girl’s body.” Which I did, twenty years ago.
The lady narrows her eyes. “You know that’s impossible. We’d have done that ages ago if we could.”
I give a laugh, trying to fool them. “How could it be impossible when I just did it? This girl and I talked about her magic, and I took over her body. With this, the dark elves might be able to infiltrate the elf kingdoms.” Technically none of that is a lie, if “just did it” is in relation to the history of the universe.
The dark elf leader put her hand on her chin. “Bind her,” she says. “Bring her to our cave. We’ll have her prove her identity there.”
All exactly according to plan. I let them tie me up and put the ruby on my neck. Before I knew anything else, they had me on a wagon, headed out towards their homes.
I had seen this coming weeks ago, when I first saw the dark elf spy. But I was always two steps ahead of them. I saw how huge their army was, and how Caitlin, while strong, was still too slow in her magic to effectively hold them off. If we fought them, I might win, but Caitlin would have likely been killed. If we ran, they’d catch up to us in no time. My only choice was what I did – sacrifice myself so she could run.
We rumble on towards the hills that make up the dark elves’ homes. “What kind of a test are you going to give me?” I ask the leader, who has taken a seat next to me on the wagon.
She smiles. “We have a newborn puppy from before we left. If you really are a dark elf in her body, you should have no problem killing it.”
My heart sinks. “Did it... do something wrong?”
“No,” says the leader. “You’re killing it in cold blood. That shouldn’t be a problem for a dark elf, would it?”
The cart rumbles on in silence as I realize just how much trouble I’ve gotten myself in for Caitlin. So much for pretending to be a dark elf...
We reach the cave right before sunset. One thing I had learned about dark elves as a kid and never forgot was how they lived in dark places. This cave to them is like a platform in the treetops for us.
A rather bulky elf grabs me by the wrist so hard, I think it’s going to break. I close my eyes tight to try and keep my tears from flowing.
“Easy now, Yorq,” says the leader. “We don’t want to hurt her. Or, him, should they not be lying about the body swap.”
“Yes, Marga,” replies the elf who I now know the name of. Not only that, but I know the leader’s name, so I can pass that test should she ever require it.
But she doesn’t ask me anything like that. Instead, she beckons Yorq to follow her down the ramp.
We descend down to the bottom of the cave. The natural light of outside is completely blocked by the spiraling ramp, but the walls more than make up for it. They are littered with gems of all sorts – rubies, sapphires, amethysts, emeralds… It’s amazing how many properties a single gem can have on magic. Maybe I can grab and emerald and refine it, should everything turn out all right. I’ve always wanted an amplifier.
Marga slides open a door and Yorq throws me in to a rather plain room. I grab my elbow and cry out as I land wrong.”
Marga growls. “I told you not to hurt them,” she scowls.
“Sorry, but she is a prisoner and…”
“She may be one of us,” Marga sneers. “Even if it’s doubtful, we cannot put the possibility behind us. Besides, if somebody as dumb as Toren could have gotten into the body of a forest elf, we’d have a huge tool on our side. Could you imagine if all of us could get out of these cursed bodies and gain the magic of the elves?”
Yorq shrugs.
“Forget it,” says Marga. “Just bring me the puppy and the serum.”
She walks into the cell, which in itself is surrounded by a host of unrefined gems. “So, Toren,” she says, “mind explaining to me this little spell of yours?”
I gulp. “Um… can you call me April?”
She laughs. “I don’t see why not. If you prefer the name of your host, who am I to stop you?” The she turns serious. “In fact, that shall be the law of our kind. If we’re going to infiltrate the forest elves, then we’re going to have to ensure that we don’t mess up.”
Infiltrate?
I didn’t have a chance to ask what she is talking about, as Yorq returns, carrying a puppy in one arm, and a syringe in another.
“Thank you, Yorq,” says Marga. “For your penance for how horribly you treated our young April here, you can stand watch tonight.”
“April?” asks Yorq. “Then she is a forest elf?”
Marga shrugs. “We’ll find that out tonight.” She turns to me and shows me the puppy. “This is Santa, and he was born three weeks ago. Outside of wetting the floor a few times, he has no sins to his name.” She points to the back of his neck. “Right here is his spine. If you push on it hard enough, it’ll crack, and he’ll die. That is your task for tonight.”
I nod, and hold my hands out to take him in. But Marga doesn’t let him go, and instead pushes the syringe into his neck. The puppy howls at first as the nasty green fluid slides into it, but Marga soothes it with a whisper.
“What did you do to it?” I ask.
“Have you ever heard of a Direhound?”
I shake my head.
“Oh, let’s just say they’re about four times as large as you, have an insatiable lust for blood, and are completely immune to magic. All I did was begin the process to turn this puppy into one. It’ll take about twelve hours for the serum to reach its brain, and then it’ll turn into one in a matter of two minutes and devour you.”
She laughs as she lets him leap into my lap. “So, you can make the choice. If you’re a dark elf, you’ll know how to save yourself and destroy it. If you’re a forest elf, you’ll throw yourself into its mouth, just as all forest elves do.”
The door slams shut, leaving me alone with the creature. A ticking time bomb, in other words.
My option is clear. I feel bad for the puppy, that’s for sure. And, to be honest, if it were only my life at stake, I would have let it live. I don’t deserve life after what I did to April of so many years ago.
But, there’s a lot more than myself at stake here. I have to get back out into the woods and find the banished manaless. If they don’t receive my spark, they’ll starve to death while trying to find themselves. Not only that, but if they do manage to make it out, they’ll find no easier lives than they had before. Even if most humans don’t use magic, they still keep the same prejudices against the manaless as the elves.
“They’re not cursed,” I tell myself. “They’re not bringers of ill-will. They’re elves, just like me. They did nothing to deserve this. They couldn’t control their birth…”
I place my finger at the neck of the puppy, feeling the bone Marga had pointed out. I close my eyes, ready to snap it.
A jolt of electricity jumps through my body. I jump back and smash into the wall head first.
I guess that means I can’t, I conclude, opening my eyes. I’m stuck in here, unable to save myself. The gods’ curse will forever  be my downfall.
I bow my head in prayer. “I know I don’t deserve this,” I say to them. “I don’t even deserve to be alive right now, after all I’ve done in my life. But, please, let me survive this. Let me escape and save the manaless. Even if it means ignoring the sins of my ancestors, please, they mean so much to me…”
I lie down on the stray the dark elves have lain out for me, and take the puppy in my arms. I guess tomorrow it will rip my throat out, and that’ll be the end of my life. I should be happy about all the elves I have saved over the years. But when I think about the potential…
The tears drip onto my bed as I drift into sleep.
“April,” I hear a soft voice. “April, wake up.”
I open my eyes, and pure white fills my vision. In the distance stands a woman – a human, for that matter – with blonde hair flowing down her back.
“Who is this?” I ask, rubbing my eyes. “Who are you? Where are we?”
“My name is Alaina,” she says. “I am the goddess of mercy.”
I sigh. “I’m dreaming then,” I say. “I prayed to the gods, and my mind just kept thinking of them.”
I pick myself up and notice an absence of weight on my chest. When I check down, my breasts are indeed gone. Yet I’m wearing a white dress, and the lack of sensation in my nether regions tells me that I am indeed still a girl.
“Why am I like this?” I ask.
Alaina walks towards me and puts a hand on my head. “Because that is what your soul is now, April. Years ago, you may have appeared to me as Peter, but as the time passed from the tragedy, you became more and more like April in every way. It is to the point now where Peter is gone and April exists, as opposed to the other way around.”
I gulp. “I still killed her.”
“Yes, you did,” says Alaina. “But she’s never blamed you once for it in all her time up here with us. And you’ve more than made up for it with what you’ve done throughout your life. April has told me on many occasions that she’s happy you killed her, so that you could make so many other elves happy.”
I close my eyes. “Then she really is dead. She’s not hiding somewhere within me.”
“Correct,” replies Alaina. “When two souls enter the same body, the soul with more mana will win out. The weaker soul will be sealed in their own mana as a sort of cage in their mind, unable to speak, act, or think. But when one has no mana to begin with, they have no choice but to die.”
I let the tears fall. “Why are you telling me this?” I ask.
Alaina pulls my chin up and smiles. “So you know and stop questioning yourself about it. Nobody blames you for what happened, so stop blaming yourself.”
“If you say so,” I respond.
Alaina pushes the hair out of my eyes, revealing my heart-shaped birthmark. “Do you know why we cursed to forest elves as we did?”
I think back to my history classes. “Because we took no sides when our kind tried to challenge you. As such, we’ve been unable to take sides ever again, always forced to act against sin.”
“And so it’s become over time,” says Alaina. “But, what we were really punishing was your selfishness.”
Selfishness?
Alaina lets go and walks around. “You were too selfish back then, concentrating on your own wealth and works, instead of trying to fight for what was right. The curse was intended to force you to fight for what was right by removing your ability to do wrong, but in the end, your kind got around it. Not once in the thousands of years since I’ve placed the curse has one of your kind selflessly asked for the curse to be removed.”
“Until me?” I ask.
“Until you,” she says. She puts her hand and my head and makes a symbol on it. “And so, I’ve removed your curse. You may make your own decisions from now on, and the light of creation is unrestrained.”
I stare at my hands, which begin to glow. “A… high elf?” I ask her, unsure of what to say.
She laughs. “Technically, yes. You are one now. But I’d advise against telling anyone about it.”
I nod. “Thank you, Alaina. How can I ever repay you?”
“Always thinking about others,” she laughs. “Repay me by doing what’s right in the world, even if it means doing what’s wrong.”
My eyes bolt open to the dimly lit prison cell. Yet a lot of the light comes from my arms and legs as the light of creation flows around me like all high elves.
I suppress the light, leaving only the bit in my eyes. The puppy sits next to me. The goddess gave me the power to choose with it. And I know, however horrible it is, there’s only one choice.
“My friends,” shouts Marga to the gathering of dark elves. “Let me present to you Toren, now known as April, the first of our kind to dominate the body of our mortal enemies, the forest elves!”
The crowd cheers. I keep my head low, and pretend to act humble between them. I suppose after what I had to do last night, I’ll have another nightmare in my repertoire.
I grasp tight onto my book. Marga had returned it to me when she saw the result of my cruelty, with the requirement that I teach its contents to the other dark elves.
When night falls, Marga visits me alone in the prison cell I had been in the night before – which has been turned into a bedroom. “Listen, April,” she says. “Today was a celebration, but remember that tomorrow, you’re expected to get back to work. Teach the elves the magic you learned from the girl you dominated. And teach us how to take over other elves like you have. Only then can we win this eternal war.”
The door slams behind her. I let a grin spread across my face. She may think that, but she’s insane for doing so.
I walk out of my room when the lights turn out, and head straight for the kitchens. On the table lies the poor puppy who had to lose his life for my sake. No, not my sake. The sake of all the manaless of the forest. I wrap him in a ball of air and carry him under my arm, invisible to any onlooker.
The cave is unguarded, and I sneak out before anyone can question me. I set a wind hawk familiar to spy on the cave, and then I run as fast as I can away from the cave.
By the time the sun rises, and they discover my disappearance, I have forty kilometers between myself and them. There’s no turning back now. I’ll have to live my life as an outcast, unable to run back to the forest elves or the dark elves.
I bury the dog by a tree. “I’m sorry,” I tell it, before resuming my sprint.
If I can’t run to the forest elves or the dark elves, I could always run to the humans. I turn south, remembering that tiny village that I used to send all the manaless that I had cured to. They aren’t exactly fond of elves, but they did at least help them get on their way to a better life.
No, I can’t do that. The dark elves are on my tail. Even if they don’t have the ability to use magic to the extent that a forest elf does, they still have enough to track somebody through the forest. I could already sense their scouting familiars in the air, searching for me.
I can’t escape.
No matter what I do, I’m going to be caught. I can’t run and hide like I used to – they know what to look for. I can’t run to any village without bringing death and destruction to it. My only options now are to fight or surrender.
But, even with the powers of a high elf, would I ever be able to defeat that many of them? I can summon tempests and typhoons at will now, and I can set a hundred of them on fire with a flick of my wrist, sure. But I can only cast spells as fast as I can think of them. When I’m swarmed, I’m done for.